I remember that morning and how I thought how pretty the sky looked as I drove to my ballet class. When I got to school, my roommate had told me that my family had been looking for me and was calling (I found out about all the missed calls and messages when I got home). I had a strange feeling and went and called my brother from a pay phone in the lobby of the building, oh the days before I had a cell phone. I had found out that my Dad had had a heart attack and didn't make it. When they told me my Dad had died, the first thing that popped in my head was a car accident or something but not a heart attack. My Dad had quit smoking 10 years prior to this, had lost weight, worked in construction in the heat in North Carolina and was pretty active lifting, moving stuff around, hammering, etc. He wasn't the poster child of fitness and health but he also wasn't obese eating donuts and fatty food all day long, but that isn't always the way it works right, you hear about super healthy people having heart attacks running, at the gym. Never even knowing that something was wrong to begin with.
I think back to last year and how upset I was that I planned my wedding the week after my dad's anniversary not having him there to walk me down the aisle. It was a hard summer to begin with and then this. I see a lot of my father in my husband. I guess they say it's true that you really do marry someone like your father. So I took comfort in that. I had my dad mentioned during my ceremony as well as the favors were donations to the american heart association.
I think about how I was and still am about my Dad and how our little girl is going to look up at Logan the same way and that makes me smile, plus the image of Logan putting pig tails in her hair also pops in my head and makes me giggle.
So I will leave this blog post with one of my favorite pictures of my Dad and I. Just a rough day for me overall and of course it's Monday.